What To Give the Graduate
If my wife and I had started our family like most couples, we’d be celebrating our child’s high school graduation this year. However, God has quite a sense of humor and this year’s graduation for my princess is from Kindergarten. However, I have several friends with teens graduating this Spring and I will be faced with the dilemma of selecting a graduation gift.
First, if you receive a graduation announcement for a friend or a friend’s offspring are you obligated to give a gift? Per the Emily Post Institute on Graduation Etiquette the answer is “no”. However, if you feel your home is in danger of being TP’d for following this advice then I’d recommend you read on.
As with a wedding, graduating from high school or college is a major milestone in one’s life. Graduation marks the achievement of a goal and the beginning of another chapter in life. Now, take into consideration the relationship you have with the graduate. Is this someone you are close to or a co-worker’s child that you’ve seen pass through the office 5 times in their lifetime? If the latter, find out what they’re into, get a gift card from an applicable store and consider the matter closed. If this is someone who you are close to then let’s spend a little more time and come up with something that doesn’t scream “Checkout Lane”.
When I Google’d this subject, there were no definitive answers for the proper gift. What I did find was that those that responded on other blogs about this subject were female. Once again, as with weddings this monumental occasion is met by the male species with a ”Let’s get on with it” mentality while those of the opposite gender want to take a moment to savor the occasion and gather up momentos to remind them of this important date. I know, these insights aren’t offering you much help so here’s my suggestion.
Buy yourself some time and pick out a card. You said you knew the graduate well so you should be able to at least pick out an appropriately worded card. Word of advice…if it’s been awhile since you purchased a greeting card the price is embedded on the back for all to see so skip the card rack at the Dollar Tree store. I know, it’s highway robbery what they get for words printed on heavy stock paper but unless your words of wisdom are more eloquent than those inside a Chinese fortune cookie stop perusing the discount card rack and take out your wallet. One more thing on picking out the right card, make sure the theme is in keeping with the receipient. Don’t get the card with puppies playing in a field of grass for your fishing buddy. Trust me on this one.
Next, take a moment to write something in the card that will make the reader pause and reflect on your words. Talk about a time that you spent together and shared your dreams, or tell them about the positive changes you’ve seen in them over the years. Your words don’t have to be poetry, but they should be sincere. Keep in mind that for the female graduate, this card is going to be carefully archived in some scrapbook or card box so it is probably going to count more than any gift it’s affixed to.
Now, to give you an example of a meaningful gift, I will share my personal experience. I returned to college in my 30’s and was going to evening classes while holding down a new position in healthcare management. I was footing the bill for this round of education instead of my parents so I was going to make sure I got my money’s worth. I graduated with High Honors (4.0 GPA) and both I and my family were very proud of my accomplishment. For my college graduation, my mom presented me with a scrapbook of report cards, homework and pictures dating back to my elementary school years. It was quite an undertaking and brought back some great memories that I was able to share at that moment with those around me.
So, what do you give to the graduate? It’s that special gift that lets them know you remember where they came from and the challenges they’ve faced to get to where they are now. It can be store bought, handmade or simply a thought expressed in writing. If it comes from your heart then it truly is priceless.
on May 23rd, 2008 at 8:56 am
Doh! I just attended a graduation yesterday. Fortunately, I didn’t use a card from the dollar rack. Actually gave one of those music cards — they’re much more than a buck.
on May 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 am
Yes, my 6-year old loves those cards and I can count on her to open and listen to every one of them when we’re at the card store.
on May 26th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Martha Stewart’s website has lots to offer re graduation gifts & cards.
I only viewed one page which included a “kite-string envelopes”. To pool a group’s money together, monetary gifts in the bottom envelope. Preceding envelopes taped on kite string contain private individual note from each relative/friend. Eliminates wondering how much to give as graduate will never know - unless you tell - and others from reading your note.
Words written from the heart are definitely the best! Besides, most of us can write what we have difficulty saying.
on May 27th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Writing cards for a graduate is much more appreciated and it’s an overwhelming to read nice thoughts. And it’s even more expensive compared to materials gifts. Kind words live forever!
Well, it would be much better to give a letter together with a something valuable.