Life 101
It’s called “Murphy’s Law“. Whenever you’re in a hurry, there’s always someone in front of you who lacks your sense of urgency. Now, I’m not talking about those moments when you need to break the sound barrier on the highway to make your flight. I’m referring to those brief encounters with individuals who are “life-challenged”.
One example of this is the person at the post office counter in front of you who doesn’t know how to complete the green signature return card for his parcel. This green card has been around as long as mail order catalogs and hasn’t changed. You put your address on one side and the receipient’s address on the other then peel and stick.
The shipping-challenged aren’t only limited to the US Post Office. You’ll find these newbies at the UPS Store and FedEx/Kinko’s unable to complete the provided form or trying to understand why masking tape is not an acceptable method for securing a box closed.
Next, is the person at the drive-thru ATM that is actually reading all the displayed instructions or even worse cannot remember their PIN. If either of these scenarios apply to you then please turn in your ATM card and do your banking inside. On a side note, what’s up with the Braille on the ATM keypad? At last check, blind individuals are not permitted to drive and for good reason, so are they walking up to the drive-thru ATM? How do they know if they received the correct amount of cash?
While on the subject of drive-thurs, how many times have you gotten stuck behind someone who waited until the last minute to get our their wallet to pay for their order. Then, they drop their change on the ground outside under the drive-thru window and try to get out of their car to retrieve the coins.
Oddly enough, the people I’ve described in the above scenarios are not backwoods hillbillies or those suffering from dementia. They are homemakers, educated professionals, college students, etc. They can download songs to their MP3 player, analyze their stock portfolio, and pick the proper wine for dinner. Somewhere between starting puberty and graduating high school they missed real opportunities to learn some of life’s basic experiences.
I can recall taking a class in high school titled “General Business”, which covered topics like balancing your checkbook and buying life insurance. Of all the classes I took in high school, I still benefit from this one. We need to bring back such a class and include field trips to the post office and the ATM machine. Leave your bag lunch at home because we’ll top off our excursion with a trip to the Golden Arches and discuss the difference between “sandwich only” and “combo meal.”
on January 3rd, 2008 at 6:43 am
I love it, I meet so many people like this - and my sarcasm struggles not to get the better of me….
There should be compulsory attendance on this course for those repeat offenders, recruitment officers at banks, post offices and drive-thru’s should guarantee a regular supply of attendees!
on January 3rd, 2008 at 7:23 am
Great idea Keiron. We’ve got such classes for first time traffic law offenders, so why not these folks. Speaking of refraining from audible sarcastic remarks, I confess I do remember a few weeks before Christmas while waiting in line to ship a single present that I leaned over to the person in back of me and remarked, “there should be a line for experienced customers only.”
on January 3rd, 2008 at 8:26 am
Common sense (a.k.a. life sense) is unfortunately not a measurable type of intelligence. If it were, we’d soon find it being more valued than I.Q.
Real story that might apply:
I worked with a guy that held a dual doctorate in mathematics and electrical engineering. He said to me, on more than one occasion, “The network is down.” Each time I checked our his laptop after his problem report I ended up solving the problem by plugging in the network cable into his laptop. He’d always stand there dumbfounded and claim, “I never unplugged it.”
“Well, did you take your laptop home last night?” I would respond.
He’d answer, “Yes.”
I’d roll my eyes and respond, “Okay, so you either unplugged it in order to take it home, or you felt a sharp yank when you tried to walk out last night.”
Make that mistake once and you can chalk it up to a careless mistake. Repeat the mistake and your right to reproduce should be called into question.
on January 3rd, 2008 at 11:36 am
“A sharp yank”…I love it. I’ll have to remember that one.